We understand it’s frustrating and it’s because unfortunately, right now we have a relatively small number of gay Hinge members. The algorithm! That must have been it, right? Five days later, when I received a response, I learned it was not a technical issue at all. I don’t think they’re all secretly on Hinge to find other men to date! I wanted to make you aware of this, because I think an algorithm is a bit screwy.
(Also, it seems pretty pointless to be suggested I match up with people I already know.) The problem, however, is that at least five of those guys are not gay men. In the last two days the vast majority of my potential matches have been my own Facebook friends which I wouldn’t be upset about if the number of potentials wasn’t already limited. A progressive thought, for sure, but it seemed unlikely. I didn’t believe that suddenly handfuls of my straight male friends were joining a dating app and looking for other men. It saves me a lot of anxiety over the two possible outcomes: either I like my friend and he doesn’t like me, or we turn out to like each other, and good lord, there’s a lot to unpack there, huh?) But the difference with Hinge was that my friends were all guys who were presumably straight.
No big whoop, really, because guys I know show up on Tinder all of the time.
Months ago, after being on the app for a few weeks, I noticed that my daily potentials had started to include my personal Facebook friends. But the most glaring issue with the app is, from my experience, how it treats its gay users. It crashes, messages are frequently lost, and, like many other apps of its kind, many of its members seem satisfied just in being told that the person they find somewhat attractive feels the same way about them - I haven’t heard of anyone actually meeting anyone off of the app. (Trust me, I recognized that the fact that I “like” Maxine and Delilah on Facebook might make me less appealing to a stranger who might mistake my ironic, jokey appreciation for Mom Culture as sincere.) Still, it feels a little more legitimate than a hook-up app, especially for those of us who are more interested in pursuing a real relationship than a one-night stand with someone in close proximity to our apartment. Of course, the drawback is that you have less to learn about your potential match other than their pictures, their friends, and their Facebook interests. It also means that you’re less likely to analyze the profiles of others to a crazy-making extent. It’s a refreshing concept it allows one to avoid all of those self-summaries and personal essays that one agonizes over when crafting the perfect OKCupid profile.
And it works in the same way as Tinder: if you both right-swipe each other, you are able to communicate through the app and then, hypothetically, take the conversation offline on a traditional date? Yes, it’s a bit of a pyramid scheme in that the app rewards you for inviting others to play along, but there are some benefits: you’re more likely to find matches with whom you have mutual friends, and it’s less anonymous - instead of a clever screen name, you get to see your match’s actual name. Unlike Tinder, however, Hinge gives you a limited number of “potentials” each day, depending on how many of your Facebook friends have also signed up for the app. Like Tinder, a user signs up for Hinge through Facebook, and the app pulls the important information you’d want potential dates to see: your pictures, your interests, your mutual friends. It’s similar to Tinder, which for a long time was billed as Grindr for straight people. Hinge is one of these new dating apps that you may have heard about. The problem with these sites, though, is that they fail to truly consider the vast demographics of their user base, particularly those who don’t fall into the typical heterosexual communities.
But the site has been such a success that it has spawned plenty of other free sites and apps that cater to a generation of people who find themselves socializing online more often that in real life. I mean, common sense, right? Does OKCupid want you to find the love of your live and leave the site? Probably not. Online dating! We can agree that it is, officially, the worst, correct? (Well, dating is pretty awful already, but then when you add selfies to the mix, not much good can come from it.) The failure of online dating sites is, basically, that the whole business model is based on keeping you single.